Welcome to the U. S. Department of Homeland Security.

Now shut up and listen. We're here to protect you whether you like it or not, so do what we say, when we say it, and don't question it. If you question us, the Terrorists win. And we don't want the Terrorists to win, do we? DO WE? So if we ask you to cede a few rights in the name of making us all secure, you'd better do it. Or you're giving comfort to the enemy.

Now, some people claim there are more pressing emergencies than Terrorism. They may point out that less than 3,000 people died in the attacks in 2001, while nearly 18,000 Americans die every year in drunk driving accidents (that's like having six WTC disasters EVERY year!). And over 70,000 Americans die from Diabetes each year (twenty three WTC disasters!). That's just how the Terrorists want you to think. While the masses get distracted by larger social issues and factual details, we're here to stave off the imminent Terrorist hordes.